Caregiving and Work: Tips for Working Family Caregivers

Balancing caregiving and work is one of the hardest challenges working adults face today. Anyone in a corporation, from CEOs to managers to supervisors to individual contributors, can find themselves in a situation where caring for a loved one causes an interruption at work.

Maybe a parent is declining, or your spouse had an accident or illness. Or maybe you’re a parent whose child has a chronic health condition.

Whatever your position, taking care of a loved one while trying to meet the demands at work can be stressful for you.

Talking to Your Manager About Caregiving and Work Needs

It might seem daunting to approach your manager when your caregiving needs are affecting your work. It helps if you prepare for the discussion; I recommend writing up some notes to bring with you.

When you do meet: 

1. 1. State the problem simply. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing what happened (you can, but you don’t have to!), you can say something like, “We had a family health crisis that I’ll need to attend to over the next several weeks.”


2. 2. Be clear about your needs. Do you need to adjust your hours? Work remotely? How long will you need accommodation? Know what you’re asking for before you meet and be specific.


3. 3. You might need to ask to modify your job responsibilities. Describe the problem, say what you need, and propose a solution. For example:

I believe I’d be more productive if I could work a few days a week remotely. I propose that I be in the office on Mondays to set up the week with the staff and on Thursdays to evaluate progress and delineate items to follow up on at the end of the week. Of course, I would be sure to attend all necessary corporate meetings. I believe this would be necessary for the next two months. Then we can reevaluate and develop action steps for moving forward.

The goal is to come across as someone who is managing a difficult situation proactively, NOT someone who is asking for a favor.

How Caregiving and Work Affect Your Coworkers

If your coworkers know you’re handling a crisis at home, they’ll likely be sympathetic. But getting phone calls throughout the day, from an in-home caregiver or from your parent or spouse affects your colleagues. They might start to become resentful, especially if they have to cover for you throughout the day, every day

If the calls are coming from a home health aide, you need to let the aide know when to call (i.e., what constitutes an emergency) and when to wait. Schedule times for you to call them throughout the day so they can ask routine questions.

If the calls are coming from a parent or spouse who’s home alone, consider enrolling them in an adult day center or getting an in-home caregiver. Otherwise, the constant calls will prevent you from performing at work.

It can also help to keep your colleagues in the loop. Let them know what you’re doing to reduce the interruptions. They’ll appreciate it!

Having caregiving responsibilities can affect the people who work for you. You might not be as available to them, and they might find this stressful. It’ll help if you tell them that you’re experiencing a family health crisis, and you’re resolving it as quickly as possible.

Remember, too: whatever you’re doing for yourself needs to be done for your employees if they find themselves in a similar situation.

Monitor your behavior to make sure you are being fair if they ask for time off or accommodation to attend to someone at home.

When Caregiving and Work Feel Impossible: Getting More Support

Sometimes the interruptions at work are a symptom of a larger issue: your loved one needs more support than they're currently getting.

If you find yourself fielding constant calls, leaving work early, or struggling to focus because you're worried about someone at home, it may be time to explore options, including adult day care.

At SarahCare, we work with working family caregivers every day. Our centers provide professional care, social engagement, meals, and activities during daytime hours so your loved one is safe, stimulated, and connected while you're at work.

Many families tell us that enrolling a parent or spouse in an adult day program was the single change that made their work life sustainable again.

The Bottom Line

Balancing caregiving and a career is hard. But it's manageable with the right communication, boundaries, and support systems in place.

Be honest with your employer. Be clear about your needs. And don't wait until you're burning out to ask for help, at work or at home.

If you're looking for support for your loved one during the workday, we'd love to talk. 👉 Find a SarahCare location near you

Originally printed in Forbes magazine.

Excerpts from Dr. Merle Griff's book, "Solace in the Storm: Caring for Loved Ones of Every Generation."